"Are you doing your gratitudes?": the power of being grateful
Erin H. Durant*
I attend therapy regularly. The frequency depends on how well I am doing. But even when I am doing very well, I still try and keep a monthly appointment. A few years ago, I was speaking with a more senior lawyer and she shared that she has attended therapy monthly for years, despite maintaining good mental health during most of those years. She explained that she treats that appointment like others that maintain her health and happiness. I have come to believe it is a good practice.
I have had a few different therapists over the years. When I was struggling to make a big, unexpected career change, I benefitted greatly by working with a therapist who was once a lawyer and who worked with a significant number of lawyers. He understood much about the profession without me having to explain it. Eventually, I switched to a therapist who had a particular focus and interest in panic attacks. She was extraordinarily helpful in helping me get over the fear of having panic attacks and helped me feel capable of controlling them. Currently, I'm working with a therapist who previously held a high-level career in business. She is helping me with prioritization, feeling more in control of my life, and developing skills to help me maintain good health while in a high-pressure career.
Although these professionals have slightly different focuses and background experiences, they all encouraged me to adopt a "gratitude practice". What is a gratitude practice? The idea is simple. You spend a few minutes each day thinking of a few things that you are grateful for and you write it down. That's it. Easy, right?
Well, I really struggled with this task. I tended to do it for a few days and then would either forget to keep doing it or it would start to get repetitive and I would give up on it. Several times in therapy sessions during bad weeks a therapist would ask "are you doing your gratitudes?" and I would respond "....no". Each time I'd be encouraged to re-start the practice.
It wasn't until my current therapists explained the research behind a gratitude practice and I did some reading myself that I started taking the practice seriously. According to some studies, when people practice gratitude, their brains release dopamine and serotonin, two neurotransmitters responsible for emotions: “This dopamine release enhances feelings of joy and contentment and encourages repeated expressions of gratitude, creating a positive feedback loop where the more gratitude we express, the more our brain seeks out situations and behaviors that elicit these rewarding feelings.” As a result of this research, legal associations, lawyer assistance programs and consultants who work with lawyers are increasingly suggesting a gratitude practice to their members and clients. It took me a while to work gratitude into my routine, but I now try, each morning, to spend a few minutes thinking of what I am grateful for and writing it down in a notebook.
At times practicing gratitude can feel repetitive and of little benefit but given that it only takes a couple of minutes, I have tried to stick with it. Many days my gratitude list looks exactly the same (I am grateful to have a loving and supportive husband, I am grateful for my amazing co-workers for their help and loyalty and I am grateful for the flexibility offered by running my own business and to my clients for trusting me, even when I am not at my cheerful best). Some days, other things make the list. Looking back at my journal, my list of gratitudes can include things like the weather, a new music album by a favourite artist, seeing a new bird, receiving a message from an old friend, enjoying an outing with friends or family or even the comforts of my home.
As the weeks have progressed, I have noticed benefits of practicing gratitude regularly. My mindset has become slightly less negative, activities or people who improve my mood are more top-of-mind and, on the darkest days, it helps me remember that there is a lot in my life that is good (even when my mind is trying to tell me the opposite).
So, the next time a therapist suggests that you practice gratitude, I encourage you to give it a try. A real try. If you are a skeptic, as I was, read about the scientifically proven benefits and find a time in your day to be grateful daily. It may seem like a silly little thing, but I can tell you that it helps.
*Erin Durant is the founder of Durant Barristers a litigation, investigation and sport law firm. She is also the author of “It Burned Me All Down” which is a book about her experience with mental illness as a practicing lawyer. The book also makes recommendations for legal workplaces to improve their work environments. She also has experience representing lawyers in both malpractice and disciplinary hearings. She can be reached at edurant@durantbarristers.com